Thus a Baby was Born
by Elielephant
Summary: His Heir 100-Chapter-Special: This...is a weird, odd, humorous or maybe just terrible twist of a Baby Story.
1. Chapter 1

So, duckys, here is the His Heir 100 Chapter Two-Shot! It was going to be a one shot...but I changed it at last minute because I want it to be like Bones. Though, the contents are nowhere near similar. Those of you who gave me ideas, I tried to use a little bit of each so you guys all helped me make this. :)

Love you duckys. Thanks for putting up with my massive monsters for so long. xD

Enjoy~

Disclaimer: I do not own One Piece, but plot and OCs are mine.

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Thus a Baby was Born: Part I

_Welcome, and thank you for tuning into the program Thus a Baby was Born. This is a show that follows the birth of a baby, and in this special, it shall be a tale of the young child Eustass Roland Caden. This is a walkthrough of life for the child and also his parents. Though, there is always a beginning to every baby tale, which is when the parents meet. _

_You have to admit, if the parents never met, then this wouldn't be much of a story, now would it? So, first we will show you Caden's parents first encounter..._

_It was the fall of their sophomore year in High School…_

Gabriella was still getting familiar with her new school and all the people passed by her, so much taller than her tiny, short self. She was putting her lunch into her assigned locker and then shut it, but then she felt someone bump her. Looking over her shoulder to the right, she saw nothing but a sea of new people; it was pointless to try and find the culprit and she was about to leave…

…until a large chunk of her ginger hair was slammed into the locker beside her, pinning her in place.

"**Hey!**" she shouted and grabbed, hopefully, the arm that caused her predicament.

"Hmm?" the male tone hummed in confusion, and a tiny undertone of annoyance, but then it lightened up when he saw what happened. "Oh. Sorry." The apology didn't sound sincere in any way shape or form, but the locker was opened and her hair was then set free.

As Gabriella looked towards the offender to her hair, she first saw a muscle shirt that had the image of abs, real abs as in the shirt was so tight she could see everything. He eyes followed the trail until she met the amber eyes of the tall teen with fiery red hair that looked like flames.

He noticed her staring at him and smirked with a devious grin and chuckled, but said nothing as he turned around and walked away.

Gabriella smiled sweetly as his retreating back and sheepishly twirled a ginger lock around her finger. Maybe this new school had a bit of perks after all…

_Aw~ the happy couple finally meets? Such a connection between the two; can you not smell the passion invading thine nostrils? There was was attraction, so does that mean... Love at first sight?_

Eustass Kidd, god, Gabriella **hated** Eustass Kidd.

_No._

Eustass Kidd may have had a smoking body that was to die for, but he was a complete brute. She found that out the hard way when she went up to Eustass and just to talk to him, well, maybe flirt, but that wasn't that bad. He laughed her in face, pulled her cheeks and taunted her saying what a cute little flat-chested girl she was. That made her emotions boil with rage because she was not flat-chested whatsoever. The fucking jerk.

Therefore, from that moment on, she and Eustass Kidd became enemies.

For months they made each other's lives miserable and they had gotten away with the mild torture, until gym one day when Eustass threw a football at her head and she got back at him by kicking him in the shin, all in front of every gym teacher present.

Yeah…not the smartest idea they ever had.

Now they had to run laps around the track as a form of detention.

"This is all your fault," Gabriella huffed as she jogged alongside Kidd; she was forced to by the fucktard known as their gym teacher who was watching them like a hawk from the sidelines.

"If you hadn't been so annoying when we first met," Kidd grumbled under his breath. "None of this would'a happened."

"I was forward saying _thank you_ for helping me with my hair issue you caused!" Gabriella yelled and shoved him. "If you hadn't been a bastard none of this would have happened!"

"And if you would have just handled it like a real bitch then this wouldn't have happened either!"

"**Fuck you!**" Gabriella and pushed him in the chest as hard as she could, making as much distance between them as possible.

Kidd grabbed her wrists on instinct and pulled him down with her and she yelped at the shock, but then it was cut off instantly as they accidently locked lips.

"**HEY YOU TWO!**" The gym teacher yelled from afar.

She pulled away as quickly as she could and stared down at him as she straddled his hips, her gold eyes wide and her cheeks a crimson red that matched the teen's underneath her.

"Um…" Kidd murmured softly, but then shut his mouth since nothing else could come out.

"…" Gabriella had nothing to say either.

She had a feeling they both felt it.

"**THIS ISN'T THE PLACE TO HAVE SEX YOU TWO!**" The gym teacher yelled again at the top of his lungs. "**GREAT THAT YOU WANNA BE FRIENDLY BUT DO THAT AT HOME!**"

Kidd and Gabriella made no attempts to move from the position.

Though, Kidd finally spoke up again. "So…um, yeah, wanna go out Friday?"

"Meet in front of the movie theater at seven?" Gabriella asked.

"Yeah," Kidd nodded.

"Yeah," Gabriella repeated.

"Okay," Kidd nodded.

"Okay," Gabriella repeated.

_And that was that. Only after a few months of complete hate, they finally realized that they had a lightning relationship. About time, am I right? If they never got over their egos then Caden would never been born! Though, we still have much to tell before we get to the birth of Caden. So, let's tune into the first date… Shall we?_

Eustass fucking Kidd was fucking late.

_Not off to a good start, now are they?_

Could the man not tell time at all? Seven meant seven o'clock not eight and definitely not nine fucking thirty. She was constantly looking down at her wristwatch and tapping her foot impatiently against the sidewalk in front of the town's local movie theater. There she was, all dressed up in a nice spring dress that showed off her 'flat-chest' as Kidd called it in the past. She was about to hightail it out of there in a fit of rage, but then the_ lovely prince charming_ finally made an appearance.

"You're late," she bluntly stated, a glare on her face.

"Sorry," he apologized, sincerely this time, and he looked ready to explain himself, but his eyes glanced down sound, almost popping out of his sockets. "You have _boobs?_ What the _fuck?_ Where were you hiding _those_ hooters?"

Gabriella just rolled her eyes and shook her head. "It's called a sport's bra," and then she grabbed his hand and started to pull him towards the movie theater. "Now c'mon! Let's go!"

_What a lovely first date they had, and through the remainder of their High School career, every date started the same and ended the same. For those dirty minds out there. No, it wasn't sex. They were classy for the first two years of dating and, the big bad Eustass Kidd was admittingly sweet since after every time he would give would walk her to the door and give her a kiss goodnight._

**_Crowd Cue: Aw~_**

_And, again, for those dirty minds out there, that all changed once the two graduated._

Graduation was finally over and Gabriella collapsed on Kidd's bed when they entered his room. Still in her white cap and gown. "Finally done with this shit," she sighed deeply with a pleasant smile on her face as she laid on her back atop the covers.

"Only to start four more years of it," Kidd grunted and laid down beside her, throwing his blue cap to the corner of the room so he could let his flaming red locks loose.

Gabriella rolled over and rested against her chest against his side and gave his cheek a quick peck. "At least we will be together; same school and same apartment," and she kissed him again. "Can't escape me, bitch," she teased.

"Please," Kidd rolled his eyes. "If I wanted to escape you, I would have done it a long time ago."

"Then I have you wrapped around my little finger," she joked, poking his cheek sweetly.

"I'd rather have you wrapped around me," he suggestively said with a smirk.

"Oh~" Gabriella cooed softly. "And what's that?"

"Your legs around my hips."

_Isn't that just so…romantic? Blunt, lewd and saucy things make a girl's heart flutter. Well, maybe not normal girls, but we have come to the conclusion by now that Gabriella isn't a normal girl. Then again...the relationship between Roland Gabriella and Eustass Kidd is strange from the beginning. Though, they are in a romantic relationship nonetheless._

_ And what makes a moments like this even more romantic? No condoms._

_And you know what's even more romantic than that? Finally getting the courage to say…_

"Kidd. You know how I mentioned I skipped my period…"

"Yeah. You said it can happen to athletes since you run all the time."

"Um, yeah… Well~ about that. I'm one hundred percent positive that I'm seriously pregnant."

"…"

_Three._

_Two._

_One._

"**WHHHHHAAAAAAAT!?**"

_Genius. _

_This is when you should practice safe sex children, or else you are left with a distraught boyfriend because you are barely in your first year of college and pregnant. Though, for this tale, it is very important. Not here thought…no, it wasn't this moment that Caden became an idea. It was two months into their college life and to help with the rent…Kidd invited an old childhood friend to move into their apartment._

Killer was walking down the hall when he heard a terrible scream. It sounded like Gabriella and he felt for a moment thought that he should be worried, but when he got to the door, he knew he shouldn't have.

There was a sock on the doorknob.

"Damn you two sex addicts…" Killer grumbled under his breath, the curse being drowned out by another scream.

_And this was when the beloved…angel named Caden was conceived within Gabriella young womb. Kidd, after a week of silence to take in the information, he manned up and sat Gabriella down and decided that it was time contact their parents. Through mail. Which meant they would turning off cellphones for a week. They didn't want to have screaming parents over the phone._

_Because we all know how parents react to pregnancies such as these, especially mother's protective of their little boy…_

"I got the letter from Mom…" Kidd anxiously said as he waved the letter in the air.

Gabriella looked away from her laptop then placed it on the coffee table and then patted the spot on the couch beside her. "Com'ere, we'll read it together."

Kidd nodded silently and shuffled over to the couch then sat down. "Ready?" He asked as he started to open the envelope and then unfold the letter.

"Y—" she started to say, but then she curled up like a shy turtle and grabbed his hand tightly and covered her eyes with her free one and turned away. "Read it to me. Your mom scares the shit out of me."

Kidd took a deep breath in and then out before relying the words written on the letter.

"_Dear my stupid, moron of a son._

_Out of all the screw-ups in your life, which there were a lot, I have to say this. This is the first time I have ever been proud of you. Your girlfriend isn't the best…April would have been a better choice, but you are giving me a grandbaby and that's all that matters. Dad and I will send you another 500 dollars a month to prepare for the baby._

_Mom._

_P.S.: Send me the motherfucking due date you asshole._"

Gabriella removed her hand from her eyes and she looked at Kidd. "So…she's not mad?"

"Take out all the insults…then yeah, she's not mad," Kidd answered with a nod.

"What a relief!" Gabriella sighed and threw her hand up in the air as she leaned back against the couch.

_...Well, that was definitely and odd reaction from a mother…and not what the viewers were expecting. Or what I wanted personally. There was absolutely no drama; so sad._

_Oh, but a father finding out that his little girl is pregnant out of wedlock. Hell will break loose like wildfire._

"Oh!" Gabriella perked up at her spot from the kitchen table. "I got an email from Daddy."

"No letter?" Kidd asked as he took a swig of his whiskey spiked coffee.

"He's a business man," Gabriella reminded him. "He's at his computer more often so it was easier for him, you know?"

"Right, right," Kidd nodded, shifting nervously in his seat when the thought of what his girlfriend's father had to say came to mind. "So…what's it say…?"

Gabriella took a deep breath in and then out and clicked the mouse, opening the email and told Kidd what it said:

"_My beloved Baby Girl,_

_I have never been so happy to hear that you are pregnant! I was so worried that you never would because you were always such a picky girl with your men and I felt you would never give me a grandchild. Make sure you relax. I'll send you lots of money to help with the baby while you're in school!_

_xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox_

_Love, Daddy._

_P.S.: Tell me the wedding date._"

Kidd pursed his lips together. "Not what I was expecting."

"At least he's happy," Gabriella sheepishly smiled.

"And he really wants a wedding," was all Kidd said.

_Well now, that wasn't very fun at all. _

_Where was the drama! Parents don't act like that when their children get pregnant in college and outside marriage! Is there anymore drama in this story! Do with have any drama!? Wait…wait, I'm getting something from the control room... We have drama? Okay, okay. Viewers, we have more drama. This will be more exciting now, thank God._

_So, ahem._

_Emotions run wild with women with crazy hormones during pregnancy. And Gabriella was no exception._

Kidd walked out to the curb, carrying the metal trash can with him and slammed it onto the side walk.

"I must say…Mister Eustass…" the smooth tone of Trafalgar came from the side, making Kidd growl, but Law remained stoic. "This is the first time I have ever told anyone that their trash actually smells…good."

Kidd just scoffed and rolled his eyes as he lifted the lid and there was a pile of fresh lemon peels. "That's all from today."

Law blinked at the pile of yellow and then looked to the redhead. "How much do you spend on lemons…a day?"

"Too fucking much," Kidd snapped and slammed the lid back onto the can, then he started to vent. "She won't eat anything unless it has lemons in it somehow and if has to taste good. If it doesn't, she has a raging fit like a fucking bull. I have had chicken and fish day and night, night and day for seven months. I want a fucking hamburger that's the size of my head!"

Law blinked slowly and then simply said: "Then just tell her that."

"I can't," was all Kidd said.

"Why not?" Law asked.

And the medical student's answer was the sound of breaking glass and a banshee screech as what seemed to be a portable air conditioner crashed to the street in pieces.

Law stared at the sight.

"That's why," Kidd pointed to the broken machine.

"Well," Law clicked his tongue. "Thank God I don't have this problem with Ameria."

_For the record, two years after the birth of Caden, Trafalgar Law's girlfriend Ameria got pregnant and he had to do through the same thing as Kidd._

_Though, now we will speed this tale up to the grand moment. The birth of Caden. This is a beautiful moment for parents and families, but some people...don't think that. So... We will keep this PG for the younger viewers, so parents, this is safe for your children._

_One of the first things men should do when their pregnant lover is in labor: comfort her._

"It's okay Gabriella…just calm down," Kidd tried to sooth his girlfriend, stroking her sweaty hair.

"**NO!**" Her face scrunched with angry agony and a rage burst erupted from her form

"_Doctor!_" a nurse shrieked when the ginger in pain kicked the doctor in the face, knocking him out cold.

_Now, gentlemen, when your lover knocks out the doctor, don't freak out. It causes more stress within the room._

"**Gabriella!**" Kidd roared at the top of his lungs. "**Why'd you do that!? He's the one getting the little shit out!**"

Gabriella grabbed a fist full of Kidd's shirt and jerked so their faces were centimeters apart. "_Don't you **dare** call my baby **that,**_" she hissed like a venomous snake.

"_Doctor, doctor!_" the nurse tried to bring the man back to life by slapping him repeatedly on the cheeks, back and forth.

…_So, since staying calm seemed to be a foreign concept, we must go to plan B._

"I heard the doctor…fainted, shall I help?"

"**GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM MY GIRL'S VAGINA, TRAFALGAR!**"

"**KIDD! HE'S COMING!**"

"**FUCK!**"

"I can help, you know…"

"**NO! GET OUT, TRAFALGAR!**"

"**KI~IDDDD!**"

_If plan B doesn't work, go back to plan A._

"_I'm up!_" the once unconscious doctor screamed after the nurse slapped him at least twenty times, his cheeks red and swollen.

"_THEN GET OVER HERE AND GET IT OUT OF HER NOW!_"

"**DON'T CALL MY BABY AN IT! MY BABY IS A HIM! AAAAAAAHH!**"

"**DO SOMETHING, BASTARD!**"

"I should get popcorn."

"**FUCK YOU, TRAFALGAR!**"

_And, I think you all know what will happen next. That's right; Gabriella popped that little shit out—I mean baby; she gave birth to a beautiful baby boy: Eustass Roland Caden. _

_Though, dear viewers, this tale if not over yet. We still have more years to go through. _

_Yes. More chaos is on the way._

_So, please stay tuned for the next episode of Thus a Baby was Born._


	2. Chapter 2

**So yeah. This is late. I know that...and I have decided to make this two-shot into a three-shot... When will the third part come out? I have no idea; before the end of His Heir probably. Hopefully.**

Guest: Lol. xD

Savage Kill: Thank you for thinking it was funny. :)

Alpenwolf: Yeah...that's Law for you.

Shiningheart of ThunderClan: Eh, close enough, right? xD

praeses: Glad you liked it. :p

bluebelle94: Thank you for enjoying this to tears, lol.

Hitoshirezu Ryu: Well, people wanted something "AU school related" and also "Caden-loving" so...this is the monster I created...lol.

kshi1205: Yeah...Law knows how to lighten the mood. :d

Velonica14: Kidd and Gabriella's parents are rather...abnormal, but then again, so are Kidd and Gabriella. It must be a gene thing.

Disclaimer: I do not own One Piece, but plot and OCs are mine.

**P.S. Sorry for mistakes.**

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Thus a Baby was Born: Part II

_Welcome back loyal viewers, to another installment of Thus a Baby was Born! _

_I'm terribly sorry for the, ahem, small delay in the second episode of the show, but there were minor difficulties among the staff. __Simply, they were lazy bi—wait, I can't say that on air…_

_Well, there is no other word that could describe the staff, therefore, we will just continue on because the older generation can fill in the blank._

_Then tally-ho! We are ready to begin the rest of this baby tale! __Though, a small recap before we engage the second episode. In the first episode..._

_Eustass Kidd and Roland Gabriella met, dated, did the deed and had a baby, Caden._

_Well, that covers everything. _

_Now! Let's continue. _

_The new baby finally in the world, their first day or two is in the hospital with their mother and the nursing staff. Caden, in a rattled state surrounded by those unknown doctors and nurses as he gets all his check-ups without his mommy… Well, it was a very scary thing; my bones are just shaking thinking about it. _

_Though, as I mentioned in the first episode, Kidd and Gabriella weren't a normal couple, and neither of them were normal separately anyway. And apparently, abnormality is genetic and Caden was nowhere near a normal baby. Normal baby's cry when they were upset, but not Caden. When Caden was agitated with his situation of being held by an unfamiliar woman that was not his mommy, he would lash out against the strangers. And that was the beginning of Caden's lifelong mission of mischief of childhood among those poor unfortunate souls around him. _

_Only just a wee baby a few hours old and he's causing trouble for the nursing staff. It was only small, trivial things such as pulling loose hair, yanking on dangly earrings and snatching necklaces away. Once or twice is alright, maybe even funny, but after one too many times over two days, the nurses were way too flustered._

The nurse entered Gabriella's room assignment, the long braid of blonde hair hanging over her shoulder messy and frizzed, like it was yanked over and over again. The young woman was frazzled, heavy bags under her eyes and exhausted to the point where she looked ready to keel over and second. The only thing that held her up was pushing Caden's little baby trolley into the room and placed it beside the ginger's bed.

Gabriella looked up, blinking her golden eyes in confusion and her brows furrowed with concern when she was the weary nurse surrounded by stormy clouds. Cocking her head to the side, she watched as the nurse's expression paled and she hesitantly reached to pick up Caden then suddenly brought back her hands close to her chest, mumbling something under her breath anxiously.

"Is…something wrong?" Gabriella asked nervously, the worst possible scenario coming to her motherly mind; was there something wrong with her baby?

The nurse snapped away from her own little world and anxiously tried to reassure the new mother with smile, but the ginger could tell it was forced. "It's nothing bad…" The nurse murmured as she slowly cradled the baby in her arms, tilting her head as far away from Caden as possible. "He's just been pulling all the nurses' hair and jewelry…watch," and slowly she allowed the braid to fall tempting before Caden's little hands.

There was a moment of silence between the two women, they waited for the baby to do what the nurse had accused him of. Two minutes passed by, and the little babe had yet to reach up with his tiny hand and yank the nurse's hair. All the baby did was sighed tiredly.

Gabriella chuckled sheepishly at the look on the nurse's face. "…I'll take him now…" and she held out her arms and the baby was placed in her embrace.

Gabriella smiled sweetly down at her child, a soft glaze over her golden eyes as she gently pulled away the blue blanket so she could see Caden better. There was still a tiny tint of red to his tan skin and he had a full head of ginger hair, thin and tousled in such a way that she wished she had a camera to capture the moment. Though Caden seemed to be sleeping and didn't open his eyes, Gabriella knew before those lazy lids were golden eyes that matched her own. She exhaled happily and then leaned down to place a tiny kiss to her baby's chubby cheek. There was no way her little angel did something so mean, especially as a baby.

"…It seems he's not…active anymore," The nurse slowly said.

"Maybe it's just late," Gabriella replied. "You should take a break," she suggested.

The nurse nodded sluggishly, silently agreeing with the new mother; a nap did seem very tempting. But…when she looked down at the baby, she swore she saw Caden crack his eyes, his gold eyes gleaming with mischief and even a demonic smug curled the corner his lips.

She blinked in shock and then shook her head, ready to do a double take, but the baby looked completely normal. Maybe she really did need sleep…and a lot of it, too.

_Well, as you can see that there will be more naughty deeds coming from Caden in the future; the feats getting greater as the days go on. Though, before we get ahead of ourselves and see the impish activities of his childhood, let's focus on babyhood, starting with the baby's first night home. _

_After the nursing staff, the family—as in only Kidd because Gabriella is in baby-denial—truly understand that trouble and Caden go hand in hand. _

_Gabriella, blissfully oblivious, and Kidd, maddened by the acts. _

_Sit back and watch the fun~_

Gabriella was practically skipping into the apartment once she was home with wee babe cradled in her arms. She was as happy as could be, like a fish finally returned to its fresh water pond. It was a relief to finally be at home; the thing she missed the most the familiar scent. The warmth of the Yankee Candles she burned in the every room she could; Kidd always said their apartment smelled like a strawberry cake whenever he walked through the door. He didn't appreciate it whatsoever.

It couldn't be helped though; she liked the strawberry and vanilla scented candles and she showed no shame in it. Even when Killer would give her the evil eye because he still lived there too; yeah, he didn't like it just as much as Kidd did.

But she was queen and she could get away with things such as trivial as candles, especially when the smell of disinfectant overwhelmed her for three days; she liked her strawberry cake and vanilla icing scents.

Though, she noticed that the apartment didn't smell of her candles. Obviously since she wasn't home for three days and she doubted Kidd and Killer would light them, but there was an unexpected aroma in the air. As she sniffed the air, she turned to Kidd, eyeing him curiously with a soft smile on her lips.

Kidd huffed at the silent stare and looked away, a tiny blush on his cheeks. "Thought you'd like to eat real food when you got home."

"Too bad it's not real food," Killer bluntly stated, his head slowly towards Gabriella, a grim expression on his face. "I should know."

Kidd scowled darkly at his best friend and growled, but Killer merely huffed at the sharp demand and went back to watching the baseball game on the television. Though the stern aura radiating from the ginger made the two glaring men stop instantly. Kidd looked away again, biting his lower lip as he grumbled. "Sorry…" and his meek tone made Killer chuckle, which caused Kidd to retaliate with another deep growl.

Gabriella sighed at the bickering between friends and she abruptly cut it in half. "Kidd," she said in a firm tone again as she moved towards him. "I want to take a nice shower; hold the baby, would you?"

Kidd was sweating bullets as Gabriella nonchalantly handed the baby over to him before she went off into the bathroom. He glanced between the closed door and the baby in his arms, his eyes wide like he was a deer in headlights that belonged to a giant semi-truck. The soft hum of the running water in the background made him even more nervous now; he was alone now.

"You look out of place," Killer grunted arrogantly as he lounged further into the cushions of the old leather couch.

"_Shuddap!_" Kidd hissed, his words more dangerous than a venomous snake. But when Caden let out a tiny sob from the loud voice, Kidd instantly froze up. His mind was racing a mile a minute, trying to figure out what the fuck he was supposed to do now. Calm the brat? Yeah, logically. He needed to calm Caden down. But how to do that, he had no idea; and Killer's snickering in the background didn't help either.

_Oh fuck…_

Though, Caden sniffling calmed down when the baby's golden eyes widen at the sight of reflective surface of his daddy's goggles hanging around his neck. The baby cooed happily, his little pink hand reaching out to grab a hold the shiny item, his finger clinging to the leather studded band.

"Ah, no Caden," Kidd gently scolded his son and he gingerly held the baby's tiny wrist. "Don't touch that," and he tried to pull the small hand from the leather, but the hand wouldn't budge. "Eh?" Kidd blinked and tugged softly again. "He…won't let go? What the hell!?"

Killer sighed and shook his head. "Rub the back of his hand," Killer instructed.

Kidd's brows furrowed in confusion.

Killer sighed again, looking over his shoulder to face the redhead. "You heard me."

The puzzled expression increased, unsure of the outcomes, but Kidd did as the blonde suggested and rubbed the back of his son's hand with his finger pad. Slowly, Caden uncurled his fingers from the strap. Kidd let out a low whistle; wow, it really worked. But, Caden was none too happy with the smirk his daddy had, nor that his daddy took away his new, shiny toy. Little tears swelled at the corner of his eyes and his pudgy face scrunched up by for he let out a wail that woke the dead.

Both Kidd and Killer flinched at the sound, cringing as the baby continued to cry until he was almost blue in the face. Kidd was at a loss; he had no idea what to do. Though, Gabriella knew what to do, which was a double-edged sword for Kidd.

She emerged from the bathroom like a storm, only a towel covering her exposed form, and Killer turned away, shielding his eyes like a bro. Kidd couldn't keep his eyes off her, and it wasn't because of _that._ The look on her face was complete death; she was a mama bear ready to murder.

"_What did you do?_" She growled darkly, stomping over to where Kidd stood like stone.

"…Nothing," Kidd replied shortly.

Her eyes screamed **bullshit** and she snatched her crying babe from the arms of her lover, cradling Caden close to her chest. The dangerous glare didn't lighten up once the baby was in her embrace; Caden still continued to cry and Gabriella still continued to pass the blame upon Kidd.

Though, Kidd wouldn't let her scare him. "I did nothing," he repeated, his tone more confident, but the expression of his lover never changed. He pinched the bridge of his nose, sighing heavily to try and cast out unwanted stress that his frustrated girlfriend caused. "I didn't do anything to him. He grabbed my goggles and I took them away. End of story."

Gabriella held the stare between her and her boyfriend before she broke off completely and turned to her little newborn. The babe swaddled in a thin blue blanket was still sobbing his little eyes out, Caden wiggling lively in her grasp. To calm him, she lightly bounced and rocked her baby to calm him, but nothing happened.

So, she went to plan B. Her hand lashed out, fingers curling around the strap of his goggles and yanked with all her might. Kidd chocked at the force as his head was jerked down. His neck burned, and it didn't help that Gabriella didn't let up on her assault until the goggles were off.

When the spectacles were free of Kidd's neck, Gabriella dangled them above Caden, and the baby stopped crying in the blink of an eye and grabbed the goggle with a happy gurgle.

Kidd wheezed for air, pure oxygen that was ripped away from it for a mere second yet caused his body to go for a whirlwind. Rubbing the budding bruise on his neck, he looked up as Gabriella retreated, catching a small glimpse of Caden's face.

His brows furrowed together in deep—and slightly worried—thought.

Was Caden…smirking?

_This wasn't the last time Kidd saw Caden's tricks, and he wasn't the only one to see them._

_Gabriella and Kidd couldn't rely on their parent's money forever. So, even though they were still trudging through college together, they had to get jobs. Gabriella got a job working a tiny antique shop owned by Hawkins, a friend of both her and Kidd. _

_Hawkins was out of college already, which helped Gabriella and Kidd out quite a bit since when they—along with Killer—were in class, Hawkins watched Caden for them._

_It was easy when Caden was just a newborn and stayed in his carrier for hours sleeping, but after several month that couldn't contain him anymore._

_Caden wanted to be free, and in a store like Hawkins, that was a bad idea._

Hawkins had made his way into the backroom so he could look through the boxes for more lucky charms since it was a week before finals. College students figured they would get automatic lucky when they wore one of the many crystal gems that were rumored to have potential power, but that is not how it worked. There was a legend that went behind why the crystal gems were considered lucky and that had to do with an old legend of a King**. **

The King's wife was sick, bedridden until her pending death. None of the physicians of the land could produce a medicine to help her, nor could the witchdoctors concoct an herbal cure. The King was desperate and he went to the swamp hag. The hag had told the King that if he were to wish upon his lucky gem, then his wife would be healed of all her illnesses. The King with only one shred of hope left, the King did just that. He wished upon two hundred and ninety-nine gems, and then on the three hundredth one—

_Bang._

_Crack!_

_**Crash! **_

There was a sudden crash that made the fortune teller flinch; it came from the front of the shop and he would admit he panicked a bit.

Caden was there and he didn't want to feel the wrath of Gabriella if something happened to her baby; he witnessed when Kidd accused the infant of taking his pocket knife.

Hawkins rushed out of the backroom and went to witness the damage. His store was wrecked, and he would have thought he was robbed, but the front door was locked due to it being his lunch break. There was no signs of it being forced open and the glass windows in the front looked the same as when he left.

Despite the mess as his feet, only one thing was amiss.

Caden was missing.

"_'Lo!_" The happy chime of a baby rang in his ears and he looked down to see Caden on wobbly feet. The toddler laughed blissfully, his grin rivaling the smug of his father, and Caden leaned forward to embrace the fortuneteller's leg and then sat down on his feet with a cheeky smile on his lips.

"…" Hawkins had nothing to say, because he already knew that Caden won this battle; Gabriella would never believe that Caden did this.

_Lovely, truly lovely, yes? With the ability to finally walk in the palm of his hands, Caden is reaching new heights, literally. But, is this the end of Caden's naughty, little tease?_

_**Cr—rash!**_

"**C—Caden!**"

_Nope._

Kidd rushed out into the garage of the auto-shop, panicked; so many bad things rushed through his mind, but the biggest question he had was: how the fuck did Caden get out of his play-pin in the office and into the garage. God, he hoped Franky wasn't there or else his boss would be telling him _I-told-you-so_ until the end of time. Franky told him from the beginning it was a bad idea; he heard about what the baby did from Killer on a daily basis, but Gabriella had an exam, Killer had his own little issues and Hawkins didn't want to watch Caden unless he absolutely had to. Considering what happened last time, Kidd didn't blame the fortuneteller one bit.

Kidd, though, thought his plan was Caden-proof, but apparently it wasn't since he saw his bouncing baby boy standing atop a workbench and a sea of tools were between father and son. Caden was covered in oil grease and his hair was stick black goo so his hair stood up in every which way. The toddler clapped his dirty hands together, a large grin on his lips as he giggled away cheerfully at his handiwork.

"_Fuck Caden!_" Kidd roared at the top of his lungs, not caring that he cursed in the slightly as he marched over to his son. "_Don't do that, you little brat!_"

Caden just giggled with a wickedly giddy gleam in his golden eyes when he was picked up by his father and held over the mess he cheerfully created.

Kidd held his son out, hands hooked under the little brat's arms to try and keep him in place, but Caden squirmed in his grasp. He wiggled his arms and kicked his legs out in the air. Despite being so high up and also being yelled at, Caden still just laughed away in careless bliss.

_Oh, Caden was in **so** much trouble._

"_Kidd! I'm back from my exam, I'm here for Caden!_"

_Scratch that_. Actually, _reverse that_ would be a better term.

The voice of Gabriella's came from the lobby and floated into the garage where Kidd and Gabriella. Kidd turned the open doorway, hearing the clicks of her heels against the tiles, then he looked back to Caden. His eyes opened wide when he saw the look on Caden's face.

That expression that he was going to turn everything in his favor. His golden eyes narrow like a wicked warlock and his lips curled so far that it was something a person could only achieve when possessed by a fucking devil.

"You wouldn't dare…" Kidd warned his son coldly.

And Caden dared; he let out a shrieking wail that made Gabriella rush into the room at top speeds and snatch her baby from his hands.

"_Kidd!_" She snapped, clutching the sobbing toddler close to her chest. "_You brute!_"

"_I—_"

"_I don't care!_" She screeched and turned sharply on her heel. "_You're a brute! __**A brute!**_" and then she left with the sniffling Caden.

And over her shoulder, Kidd saw his son smirking through the crocodile tears.

_Well, Caden learning to walk started out fresh; a lot of things in pieces on a floor, but the world it no limitless to the little toddler._

_Though, wait until little Caden learns his first word…_

_Now what will his first word be?_

"**Fuck!**"

_Oh. This is turning out to be fantastic already. _

Kidd stared at the smiling toddler standing before him, his eyes wide in utter shock. He had been sitting on the floor, err, playing with Caden—the Super Bowl was on—and something on T.V. distracted him and out of rage, he let the f-bomb drop.

And only a second after that happen did Caden stand up and scream the word in his childish voice, the toddler shouting his very first word to the heavens.

He didn't think this would happen…

He hadn't necessarily changed his habit of cursing in front of Caden because he was only and infant and he figured his son wouldn't pick up on it. Obviously he was very wrong and regretted that he didn't break the habit sooner. This was…Caden's first word after all…

…

_Oh god._

_Gabriella…_

Gabriella would never forgive him.

God, she will hated him.

_She'll kill him!_

Kidd went into panic mode. He hooked his hands under his boy's arms and lifted Caden up so they were face to face. "Don't ever say that in from of Mommy, got it? I'll give you a cookie if you do that for me."

"_Fuck!_" Caden chirped like a happy little birdie.

Shit, Kidd kept the curses inside and tried banter with his own kid. "Two cookies," was his next offer.

"_Fuck!_"

"Three?"

"_Fuck! Fuck!_" Caden continued to shout in glee.

"…Ten?" Kidd murmured, his brow already slick with sweat, but he wouldn't let Caden see. He shook his head mentally and then scowled at his son, a stern look in his eyes. "And that's my final offer!"

Caden cocked his head, his little eyes narrowing and his brows furrowing as well; it was as if the toddler was in deep thought. Kidd felt he was finally going to get off scotch free of trouble, but with his luck, of course it didn't happen. There was the tiny click of the lock in the background and then the hinges creaked when the door open, and all heads turned.

Gabriella had come back from her shopping trip, groceries packed away in a paper bag that was hugged against her side. As she kicked the door close with the back of her foot, she smiled at the pair on the floor and then asked: "How are my boys doing?"

Caden smirked, and a devious gleam shimmered in his golden eyes when he saw his mommy enter the apartment once more.

Kidd saw what was going to happen instantly. "Don't—" he tried to stop his own son, but it failed, _miserably_.

And Caden shrieked at the top of his lungs: "_**FUCK!**_" as he spread his arms out wide.

Gabriella promptly dropped the paper bag to the floor, her expression blank and her eyes dead like dull gold. She said nothing, but slowly her fingers curled into tight fists that trembled, and he skin turned from tan to red in a heartbeat as steam poured from her ears.

_Oh fuck_, was the only thing going through his head.

"_**KIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIDD!**_"

_And that ends the second installment of this Thus a Baby was Born, but that doesn't mean the special is over just yet._

_There are still many questions that need to be answered, the biggest one being…_

…_Will Caden every go out of his nasty phrase?_

_Or will he forever torment his father and the others among him?_

_That is for next time._

_Toot-a-loo~!_


End file.
